things i can't do

scott adams recently blogged about things he doesn't know how to do. he says he's fairly intelligent and can figure most everything out, but some things have him stumped.

i'm fairly intelligent, what can't i do?

download torrents- every time i've tried, it ends up a huge mess, and i end up with software on my computer that i can never get rid of. i gave up years ago, which has probably saved me from whole hosts of viruses. of course, there's a lot regarding computers that i can't figure out. this is one of those areas where i leave it to a professional.

grammar, punctuation, etc. every time i think i have some rule figured out, it turns out i have it backwards. the one thing i do know, loan is not a verb people. it's a noun. you lend people things, not loan. (okay, i know this one has gained common acceptance and no one would ever call anyone out on it anymore, but i like knowing at least one thing william safire would pull out of his pocket.)

understand what math really means. i can do equations 'til the cows come home, but know how to apply them or what they mean? never. sine, cosine, etc. no clue. algebra makes sense, as the items can be measured, but once you start doing theorems about triangles, well its a triangle if it's sides meet. i shouldn't have to write a paragraph to explain it.

understanding the universe. they say that the universe is not endless, that it has a limit. but if it has a limit, what's on the other side? this makes no sense to me. i'm reading bill bryson's a short history of nearly everything (and it's really good.) but it is giving me no clearer idea of the universe. but, i'm understanding it a little bit better than i did hawking's brief history of time. brief history of time cracked me up though, because it's littered with exclamation points. he was so excited by what he was writing about.

and last- draw, sculpt, make anything with my hands that's supposed to resemble real-life. what i like about this is that it's something that's not "figuring it out." it's just a skill i don't have. like playing tennis or the piano. but- when it comes to art, i at least understand it. even at it's most complex (photography- because you need equipment to create it) it's something that can be explained. light exposed to film. film captures light. enlarge, dip in chemicals, chemicals react- recreates an image.

there's lots more that i can't do or figure out, but these were the big ones. these are the ones where i admit defeat. i know i'm hopeless, others i'm not ready concede just yet.