I need a therapist.
That's what my Dr. said the last two times I've been in to see her. I'm pretty sure she's not wrong. She said, "you need someone on your side." The nice thing is- all of my friends who I've mentioned this conversation to have said, "but we are on your side. Who isn't on your side?"
It isn't so much that as work. I've been trying to fall asleep for 2 hours tonight, and it just isn't taking. Every time I try, work floods in to my brain and I can't switch off. This needs to be done, that needs to be taken care of. This is going wrong. I need to talk to this person about that."
I like what I do. A lot. I like the people I work with. A lot. Its been harder recently because my three favorite people are gone. Maureen, Layla and Daniel. I still talk to Maureen a lot. And Daniel and I still talk daily, but its not the same as having them in the office all day every day. Layla moved to San Diego to go to school and move on with her life, and I'm very, VERY happy for her. But it doesn't mean that I don't miss her and think the office was better with her in it. Plus, my friend Kristin was back last week for a visit, and it just reminded me of how good work was when she worked there too.
Of course this is what happens when you work someplace for a long (in today's day and age) period of time. Last Friday was my 2 year anniversary of working for my company. Overall it has been a very, (not to be redundant) VERY good experience. But its still sad to see people move on.
This isn't to say that the new people aren't awesome. There are some funny, nice, "kindred spirits" there now. My teammates are amazing. I get along with just about everyone (as far as I know, and really if someone doesn't like me oh well.)
Its just hard when the work itself won't let your brain turn off.
So, the task is to find a therapist. Hope I like the person. And then make time in my schedule for the visits. And then fight with insurance over whether or not they'll cover it. Just more things to stress about.