Stupid Infomercials

I can't sleep tonight so I'm watching TV. Leslie and I don't have
cable, so the channels we do get are slim pickings. Lots of Asian
languages programming. Lots of Spanish language programming.

The only stuff in English is Christian programming, regular broadcast,
and infomercials.

You might think this would make me turn off the TV and do something
else, but I LOVE infomercials. Tonight I've been introduced to a
fantastic new straightener that will infuse your hair with negative
ions, a pet brush which cleans itself, a steam cleaning vacuum, and
"meaningful beauty" cindy Crawford's anti-aging skin care line. It's
been developed using a "rare fruit" from France. They never actually
name this fruit. They only ever refer to it as the "rare fruit."

I admit- I want to order this. They usually almost get me with the
acne lines (Murad and Proactive.) I'm so sick of having zit/pimples
(or zimples as we decided they should be called.) but I always stop
myself from actually ordering.

Now I've decided that I have zits and wrinkles (zinkles.) if the
infomercial had been for an anti-wrinkle/anti-acne treatment, they
would have gotten my credit card number tonight.

Marketers take note.